after more than 5 months...

haha.. giler lama aku tak update blog... takde masa la.. tp bila ada masa, malas plak.. update blog yg best bukannya semudah mkn cekedis.. kene pk tajuk, ayat yg best, gambo lg... tp ari ni setelah sekian lamanya.. aku update la sket... sementara tunggu ujan reda (tgh lebat giler ni..nak blk umah pun susah)... so aku list kan sorotan selama 5 bln kehidupan aku yg mmg byk giler berubah ni.. hehe

bln 3 - bz ngn keje... maklumla, tgh peak period.. sambil tu sibuk gak prepare utk kawen... time ni mmg tensen tahap gaban.. blk keje pun lambat... idup mmg utk keje la...

bln 4 - aku kawen.. best kawen ni..hehe.. tp penat arr time kenduri... penat yg berbaloi.. ramai kawan2 dtg.. sedara mara... adiah pun banyak... alhamdulillah.. majlis berjalan lancar... aku cuti tak lama.. 5 ari jer.. tak sempat nak honeymoon.. huhu..

bln 5 - genap umur aku 25 taun... cepat masa berlalu.. dah setengah abad dah... setakat ni terasa blum mencapai tahap yg diiginkan.. tp masih sgt bersyukur dgn nikmat yg aku ada selama 25taun ni... alhamdulillah... oh ya, bln 5 ni gak aku dikejutkan ngn hadiah yg paaaling spesel utk ari jadi aku.. hehe.. aku disahkan mengandung.... ni pun tau secara tak langsung time aku buat medical check up utk job baru... pas tau aku mengandung, company tu tak nak hire aku dah.. ceh.. tp im still hepi.. tu cuma secebis kekecewaan nak dibandingkan kegembiraan nak dpt baby..hehe

bln 6- menjalani kehidupan seperti biasa... cuma time pregnant mmg ada sket perubahan... makan tak lalu.. slalu penat... tp bila nengok baby time scan.. mmg sgt teruja... there is something living in my stomoch.. so cute!

bln 7 - pencarian keje baru masih dijalankan.. aku ada g intebiu.. kalo ada rezeki, bole la dpt.. at the same time, aku apply utk tuka department.. sbb pregnant ni susah la nak buat keje audit.. tp sampai skrg ni tak approve2 lg.. apa masalahnya pun aku tak tau... skrg mmg da tawar hati nak buat audit... tak larat la... huhu.. 3 taun dah ni...

ok la.. sekian sahaja sorotan utk 5 bln ni.. jumpa lg di entri seterusnya.. (mungkin 5 bln akan dtg..hehe) ujan dah reda dah tu.. aku nak blk umah.. nak kene masak.... ok.. salam.

Masa Semakin Mencemburui..

Sejak keje tpt baru, terasa masa mcm lokek ngn aku.... terasa byk benda yg tak sempat buat... khusyuk sgt buat keje.. tak sedar jam dah sampai kol 10 malam... penat.. stress.. tu yg aku rasa.. dah lama dah tak rasa mcm ni... tp.. still mcm tak leh nak hadapi dgn baik... ada org kata, suruh berpikiran positif... yer, btul tu.. tp mcm tak termampu... hanya yg menjadi kekuatan, doa dan harapan.. juga percaya pada rezeki selepas kawen... kadang2 tertanya, adakah ini kehidupan yang aku inginkan?? jwpannya tak pasti.. tp dlm hati kuat mengatakan...bkn ini... aku patut keluar...keluar dr kepompong ni.. dunia ni luas.. byk yg bole diterokai.. bkn hanya duk depan laptop dan membuat working papers... aku rasa sangat menyesakkan.. aku ingin bebas...

Goodbye 1430H&2009... Welcome 1431H&2010..

Waa.... 2009 almost the end... and we r already in 1431H... time passes so fast.. throughout this year... i'd gone thru sooooo much thing in my life... i learnt a lot of things... and experienced a lot of things... Something good about this year was i did a lot of so-called 'self-reflection' or 'muhasabah diri'... I learnt 'bout myself more... and so, i wish this coming new year, there will be an improvement....

Other big thing happened was, of course, my engagement... 27 June 2009... will never forget the day.. my experience about the 'engaged life' was so great... that was the time i got closer with my becoming new family and of course with my beloved fiance... InsyaAllah.. soon we are getting married and a new chapter of our life begin... Wishing everything's gonna be fine.. just that, i need to prepare myself well..

Oh, not to forget.. I will also start working in other firm on this coming new year... Going through the next level in my career, perhaps... I really2 hope.. this time i could perform better... as an appreciation for the 'rezeki' given by Him..

Ok, will end here.. wishing all you guys, a very Happy New Year!!

If only...

If only people...
not to ignore me, but care about me
not to blame me, but support me
not to dislike me, but love me
not to discourage me, but encourage me
not to sceptical about me, but understand me...

.... i could be better...

-Saturday, 19/12/2009, 11.45pm

Hate myself..

Time goes by...
Now im 24 going on 25..
At dis moment,
i can't stop hating myself..
for not being the best..

I know im not perfect..
i did so many wrongs..
to people around me
and to my own self..
i wish i could do better..
but im only human..
im so sorry...

please...
please forgive me..
people could hate me..
as i hate myself too..
but dun let the love to me
fly away...
coz i need it.. want it..
to continue the journey...
journey towards..
becoming a better person..

BeRpiJak Di Bumi TeRengGanu

13-15 Nov 2009, hari2 yg menggembirakan... =) aku, zira, mar, et, hafsah, ebab (anak sedara et), fizah, zila n gaban... ktorg bercuti2 di kuala terengganu... dah lama plan.. akhirnya sampai jgk hasrat ktorg.. here are some of the pics.. enjoy!!

En. Azmil tgh masukkan beg2 ktorg.. mekasih byk2 ye sbb sudi nak anta ktorg g lcct... jasamu dikenang..hehe

Nak gerak dah... kol 4.45a.m time ni.. mlm tu mmg tak tdo langsung...

Bergambo skejap b4 masuk departure hall... dah lambat gak sbnarnya ni.. tp slamber arr..

dah sampai airport KT... tgh tunggu zila n fizah.. perut dah berdendang.. lapo giler... flight sampai awal 15 min.. pilot bwk laju kot... takde traffic jam..

tgh tunggu nasi dagang... tapau jer.. takde tpt nk duduk.. gaban kata tpt ni femes nasi dagangnya... btul ke sedap??? jom try..

masa utk makang...!! berkelah kat tmn apa ntah... haha

1st destination.. pegi noor arfa batik...

2nd destination: taman tamadun islam..tmn ni mempunyai lebih 20 buah replika masjid dan binaan islam dr seluruh dunia.. ktorg decide naik basikal..senang sket nak bergerak...

3rd destination: Masjid Kristal... tak jauh dr tmn tamadun islam.. masjid ni dipanggil jgk sbg masjid terapung..

tgh lepak kat dataran tak jauh dr rest house ktorg...time ni tgh tunggu fizah dll g withdraw duit.. ready to shopping.. =)

bergambor dpn tourist information centre.. ktorg lalu jer.. on the way nak ke pasar payang..

Ni la dia pasar payang kebanggaan rakyat terengganu.. mmg best shopping kat sini.. kain batik, cenderahati, songket, t-shirt, kopok lekor, baju kaftan ,sutera... mcm2 adaaa.. tgk la 2nd gambo tu, tak cukup tgn nak bwk... abis duit aku... haha.. tp puas!!

Last destination: Pantai Batu Buruk... time ni nak magrib dah... mostly pantai kat sini tak leh mandi.. so ktorg main2 air jer..

Esoknya, pagi2 ktorg dah kene bersiap... nak blk kl... flight kol 8.15pg.. rasa cam skejap sgt percutian ni.. tp apa2 pun... semua enjoy... wpun ada seseorg mengalami masalah yg tak sangka2.. (only us know).. hehe..

So now, after terengganu.. where's our next vacation???? sarawak maybe?? hehe...

VeRy SOon..

hehe.. gumbira mendapat msg dr abg aku .... wahaha... alhamdulillah stakat ni preparation berjalan lancar... skrg ni tiap2 ari berangan pasal ari istimewa ni.. *wink2* . Apa2 pun, bila semua dah confirm, akan aku khabarkan ke semua rakyat jelata.. just wish everything gonna run smoothly.. wait for my update... :) daa...!